Not a day goes by

Not a day goes by, in which I do not think about Palestine, in which I don’t see the news, hear it and feel it. I must admit, and I will be very open about it, that (before Oct. 7) I was ignorant of this war. Unfortunately, I too was involuntarily immersed in the fabricated narrative of Israel. An ex of mine even worked with them…but I was suspicious, due to the fact in which area my ex was working in…which reeks of money and bad connections(power)… so naturally I was on edge… He brought a bottle of wine back… which I liked a lot.. not yet knowing that the vine yard is on occupied territory in the west bank, so stolen territory, and expelled Palestinians…basically colonial vine. I felt repulsed and sickened once I found out (a few years later). The devils work together and I sensed it.

Despite my ignorance on the subject, nevertheless, I was immediately aware of what was going on on Oct. 7, 2023 and raising my voice for the oppressed, especially due to the lies by the media which was fabricating justification for the murdering of Palestinians..a tactic many colonial entities have used. And it is tragic, immensely, incomprehensibly tragic that the genocide is still ongoing (22 months now).

It is true what they said, that Palestine will reveal the truth, and it did. It laid bare the work of colonialism and western complicity. It is like waking up from a nightmare realising that reality is much worse. It was sickening, and what scared me the most but not shock me is westerners reaction ongoing Oct. 7. The extraordinary mind bendation, to the point of no return, on creating justification left to right for the extermination of a people. With smiling faces. This is the white colonial – out of touch – face that I always knew existed but it wasn’t as visible until now. Now, the masks have fallen and how bitter it is…how ridiculously obvious but so twisted. All of the west is complicit. All of us are stained and it is nothing we can erase (more on the subject of denial later). I think it is as clear as day, that our education is bollocks and cannot be considered „education“ since it is very one sided and usually based on false narratives (colonisers write history in their favour so basically we have been taught fiction) and we must be very aware that liberating education does not happen in institution and therefore is ones own responsibility (even though our capitalistic forced work phase tries to limit our capability – for eg. being rested enough to embark in the crucial research, or have kids on kids so then you are always busy..or you have disgustingly inherited wealth (stolen labour)) anyway…we have been sold a lie, just like this delusional American dream hoax, so has Europe too been manipulated to belief the shit that we belief. We are so delusional… it’s worth crying for. I wish we would all just shut up and actually do the necessary work by unlearning and gaining knowledge from multiple sources that enclave the reality truthfully and touch some grass! Maybe humanity will return to your soul.

Not a day goes by, that I do not see martyred Palestinians, may they rest in peace. Not a single day, and it is not only one, I have seen many. I see them on my screen, Kilometers away and it feel like acid is being poured into my brain again and again. And I admit, as much as I try but am also aware of the fact that it is impossible, but to put all my energy into imagining how I would feel like if I were there, if I were a Palestinian, Man, Woman, Child, no matter age, disabilities or sexual preferences… just the plain fact of putting myself in their place sends shocks through my body. I do suffer, and I should, we all should. I assume, that when people look away, when people don’t even try, it says a lot about their emotional stance and what matters more to them and it is a dark privilege. It is known that whites have been shielded from shit like this, well, most, when the war between Ukraine and Russia started, white folks were more able to „understand“ and use their thinking capacity and knowledge in a humanistic way, probably even empathy!. Though I believe this is partly due to the established enemy belief, a common denominator thanks to the US propaganda (Europe has been a US colony for a while now so yea no surprise by the anti-russia unity, which is not a justification but an observation). When it comes to Palestine, one could laugh if it weren’t so tragic, the amount of sheer ignorance and profound stupidity that surfaces is phenomenal. It kills. It aids Israel and we will be remembered as a people who failed to stop a televised genocide. The politicians, the media and the lobby of war all are bathed in blood. Always have and forever will.

There is so much to write but for today, I wrote this because of the deep grief and desperation I feel because another journalist, who I followed, got murdered/assasinated by Isreal. Anas al-Sharif was a young man, 28 years old and kept on reporting no matter what. He was one of 5 journalists that got killed (murdered) by a drone in a tent next to al-Shifa Hospital. The drone attack late on Sunday hit a tent for journalists positioned outside the main gate of Gaza City’s al-Shifa Hospital, killing seven people. Among the dead were Al Jazeera correspondent Mohammed Qreiqeh and camera operators Ibrahim Zaher, Moamen Aliwa and Mohammed Noufal.

I am writing these so that the scream inside me doesn’t kill me. I think I am knocking on the door of insanity because if you take a look at the world state right now and how fucked up a lot of people are..one really can’t help but go insane. Writing this may be nothing but it is something. I am so so deeply in despair but also trying to maintain faith, faith in humans that I know are fighting to bring down the imperialist, colonial western and eastern enterprises with whatever they have and can, and faith in myself. I know I must not succumb to the deep shock and become internally paralysed because then I won’t move and movement causes ripples that turn into waves, so we have to proceed. I continue on seeing the death toll rise, I keep on witnessing the arrests and police violence unfolding everywhere (Germany especially) all while decolonising and decentralising my mind with every day an boycotting all the listed companies. Freedom, liberty and dignity is not handed down by those who take it away those who become richer if we don’t have it. It continuously needs to be fought for and defended. See how I specifically did not write“ democracy“ because non of us live in a democracy… I think that this is the European equivalent to Americas fake dream, „we live in a democracy“.. says Israel too…both „false dreams“ kill more than that they are true. These words, are a dedication to all 269 journalists that have been deliberately targeted and murdered in Gaza, in the deadliest conflict ever recorded for reporters.

Gaza toll could exceed 186,000, Lancet study says. According to Gaza’s Ministry of Health, more than 38,000 Palestinians have been killed since Israel launched its military offensive on October 7.

This my point of view and emotions. I write so that I don’t forget and that I can find an outlet.